October 23rd, 2007

To make it easier to explain, a hot waterfall is, in many ways, a lot like a hot shower. For one, getting out is just as hard – you want to stay as long as time allows and just stand there under the pressure of the water, watching your skin wrinkle and feel your mind going a bit foggy from the heat. One way this hot waterfall was not like a hot shower, was that usually when we are in a shower, separately or together, we are not accustomed for a middle-aged Guatemalan man to sit there and watch us. At first, we hoped he is just going to see us to the falls, even though the trail was clearly marked, and leave, but he stayed “to guard our stuff” that needed no guarding as we took the camera into the water with us, and to “make sure we wouldn’t drown”. I thought about asking him to leave, and made sure he understands we were in no need of the above listed “services”, but nonetheless the man stayed, gawked, and finally, when his stare burned a deep enough hole in the backs of our heads, we decided to leave this marvel of nature with its relentless guard and continue for the Stellas of Quirigua.

A sight for sore eyes, the Stellas were magnificent and we would have thoroughly enjoyed them if only somebody, I will not point fingers (Shurik!), hadn’t neglected his contact lenses for months and then used them at the waterfall, where his right eye became a throbbing pink mass laced with alarming thin red veins. A site for sore eyes indeed…

Now, Shurik was in pain and I was faced with a dilemma: let my one-eyed hubby drive through the sunset on an, obviously, unfamiliar road, or take the wheel myself like our unwritten laws of emergency dictate? With all due respect, I was leaning towards letting Shurik keep driving. What? Have you ever driven our green monster? On Guatemalan roads? Aha, that’s what I thought. Shurik barely let me drive beforehand anyway, with excuses like: “Shurik, can I drive now?”-”What? In the mountains?! No, that’s way too hard.”-”Now?”-”In the city?! No, did you see that car swerve?!” So, to say the least, I was scared. To be entirely honest, I don’t even have the stature to drive GreenGo. Only to brake, I would have to practically stand with my whole weight on the pedal. And there are so many things to do, and with such force too! Left hand driving, right hand shifting, Left leg on the clutch, right leg motor. People should take a course in “rub your belly while patting yourself on the head” first, before being allowed to purchase stick-shift operated vehicles. Ah… (back of the hand on forehead). Now did any of you buy the “useless wife” routine? No? Good. Because, of course, I took the driver seat and did a pretty good job driving, going from “Yeeeeee! Mamachka!” when passing by trucks would send GreenGo into convulsions, to “Where is the fifth gear on this thing!” Yes, a great job up until the point I almost drove GreenGo off a cliff. In my defense, it was a small cliff, and who in their right mind builds a hotel parking on the edge of a cliff anyway?

Tags: ruins
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