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Weirdo Ads

Sarit Reizin — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 16:19:00 +0000

Our temporary residence in Israel has given us a chance to immerse into the depths of the Russian-Israeli culture. Here is what the average “Russi” sees in his every-day newspaper:

“SALE! SALE! SALE! Happy Rosh haShana! 1 kg of Ham 28.90 shekel”

Next to the optimistic newspaper title “Success”, an ad that colorfully reads “ABORTION” and reassures in small print below “Best Gynecologists”

Ambulance Yakov
FREE BURIALS
(for non-Jews in caskets & clothes)

We would send it to the “Tonight Show”, but doubt that Jay would appreciate the subtlety of Russian humor.

Baby Talk

Sarit Reizin — Fri, 06 Oct 2006 21:03:00 +0000

I’m all jealous of the first words that my friends’ babies are saying. But I just realized my “baby” is uttering his first words as well, in Hebrew. I was taking off my contacts, when Shurik asked half in Hebrew, half in Spanish “How do you say contact lenses?” I replied, and proceeded to ask in Hebrew:
-”How many camera lenses do you have?”
-”I have 4 lenses,” he said. “One of them is a gefilte-fish ear.” (i.e. fish-eye)

And here’s another one:
-”Let’s go to table,” Shurik says to me in Hebrew one night.
-”Table?”
-”It’s the only piece of furniture I know how to say.”